Tiny Pineapple

ananas comosus (L.) minimus

Pineapple Rag by Scott Joplin

Pineapple Rag by Scott Joplin
Pineapple Rag (Clip)

Pine-apple Rag (1908): The third theme of this rag has the vocal quality that probably suggested its future use as a song; otherwise a strange choice. It is not particularly distinctive except for a joyful and very ragged second theme but is well enough constructed and substantial.

Source: Scott Joplin and the Ragtime Era

“Not particularly distinctive,” my eye! The mere mention of that most noble of bromeliads in the title elevates the song above all of Mr. Joplin’s other botanically-themed rags: Maple Leaf Rag, Sugar Cane Rag, Sunflower Slow Rag, Palm Leaf Rag, Gladiolus Rag, Rose Leaf Rag, and Fig Leaf Rag.

Pineapple Princess by Annette Funicello

Pineapple Princess by Annette Funicello
Pineapple Princess (Clip)

It could be argued that without “Pineapple Princess,” from Annette Funicello’s 1960 album Hawaiiannette, there would never have been “A Spoonful of Sugar,” a “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” or a “Jolly Holiday” with or without Mary.

The Sherman brothers, Richard and Robert, were relatively unknown songwriters when they teamed up with Annette Funicello in 1958. While their first hit with Annette was “Tall Paul,” co-written with Bob Roberts (no, not that Bob Roberts), it was their 1960 hit “Pineapple Princess,” recorded by Annette and The Afterbeats, that reached #11 on the pop charts and established them solidly in the wonderful world of Disney.

After writing songs for both The Parent Trap (1961) and Summer Magic (1963) they were approached by Walt Disney to write the songs and the score for Mary Poppins (1964) and the rest is history.

They won Oscars for both “Best Musical Score” and “Best Song” (for “Chim Chim Cher-ee”), won the grammy for “Best Original Score Written for a Motion Picture or Television Show,” and helped make Julie Andrews a movie star.

I hope that, at the very least, Ms. Andrews sent The Afterbeats a fruit basket as a token of her apprecation.

Pineapple Princess, by Annette Funicello (Single)

Pineapple Princess

“Pineapple Princess,” he calls me,
“Pineapple Princess,” all day
As he plays his ukulele
On the hill above the bay.
“Pineapple Princess, I love you,
You’re the sweetest girl I’ve seen.
Some day we’re gonna marry
And you’ll be my Pineapple Queen.”

I saw a boy on Oahu isle
Floatin’ down the bay on a crocodile.
He waved at me and he swam ashore
And I knew he’d be mine forevermore.

“Pineapple Princess,” he calls me,
“Pineapple Princess,” all day
As he plays his ukulele
On the hill above the bay.
“Pineapple Princess, I love you,
You’re the sweetest girl I’ve seen.
Some day we’re gonna marry
And you’ll be my Pineapple Queen.”

He sings his song from banana trees
He even sings to me on his water skis.
We went skin-divin’ and beneath the blue
He sang and played his ukulele, too.

“Pineapple Princess, I love you,
You’re the sweetest girl I’ve seen.
Some day we’re gonna marry
And you’ll be my Pineapple Queen.”

We’ll settle down in a bamboo hut
And he will be my own little coconut.
Then we’ll be beachcombin’ royalty
On wicky-wicky wacky Waikiki.

“Pineapple Princess,” he calls me,
“Pineapple Princess,” all day
As he plays his ukulele
On the hill above the bay.
“Pineapple Princess, I love you,
You’re the sweetest girl I’ve seen.
Some day we’re gonna marry
And you’ll be my Pineapple Queen.”

A “Very Good Divorce”

Lately, there have been a number of people who have told me that they feel that my ex-wife and I have fashioned a “very good divorce” for ourselves.

While I appreciate that they recognize that we are working very hard to create a healthy and cooperative environment in which we can raise our daughters, I must say that telling someone they have a “very good divorce” is akin to walking up to a double-amputee and saying, “Hey, those are some good-looking fake legs you’ve got there!”

What they don’t seem to understand is that a finely-crafted set of prosthetics doesn’t do much to make up for the fact that you will never walk again, you’re still experiencing excruciating phantom pain in your missing extremities, and without any proper training and using only blunt tools, you had to carve your own prosthetic legs out of the wood of the very tree that crushed your legs in the first place.

Pineapple Head by Crowded House

Pineapple Head by Crowded House
Pineapple Head (Clip)

“Pineapple Head,” written by Neil Finn, was included on Crowded House’s 1993 album Together Alone. The image on the left is from the cover of the CD single of “Pineapple Head” that was available in the U.K. and Australia.

Neil Finn talked about the origins of the song in an interview with David Hepworth in the June 1994 issue of Mojo Magazine.

DH: “How do you start a song?”

NF: “I basically rely on getting my first few lines by just singing something and writing it down and not thinking about it at all. So initially I get just a natural image like sky, sea, sun, earth and then something very domestic like washing. The juxtaposition of those things is endlessly interesting.”

DH: “Can you remember the process afterwards?”

NF: “‘Pineapple Head’ is an obvious example. It started with my son Liam who had a fever. He was delirious and I was standing by with a cloth to cool him down and he just started talking about all these things. ‘Pineapple Head! Pineapple Head!’ Then he said ‘detective is flat’ and ‘getaway car’. So instead of staying there and doing what a father should do I ran downstairs and committed it to a song. Until my wife Sharon came in and looked at me in horror and said, ‘What are you doing here?’ At the time you’ve got to go. There’s enough times when the idea pops into your head and you’re not on the ball enough to write it down. Liam’s 11 and I’ve exploited him mercilessly over the years. He wrote the line ‘here comes Mrs. Hairy Legs’ in ‘Chocolate Cake.’”

DH: “So does ‘Pineapple Head’ mean anything?”

NF: “‘Pineapple Head’ has the least meaning in the literal sense of any of the songs on the record, but in a strange way for me it all makes perfect sense. Line by line anyway. And the chorus is put over from the point of view of a fever, a virus, inhabiting somebody. ‘I’ll play you like a shark and I’ll clutch at your heart and come flying like a spark to inflame you.’ The rest of it’s just a stream of consciousness delirium put down on paper.”

Here are the complete lyrics:

Pineapple Head

Detective is flat
No longer is always flat out
Got the number of the getaway car
Didn’t get very far
As lucid as hell
These images moving so fast
Like a fever
So close to the bone
I don’t feel too well

And if you choose
To take that path

I will play you like a shark
And I’ll clutch at your heart
I’ll come flying like a spark
To enflame you

Sleeping alone
For pleasure, the pineapple head
It spins and it spins
Like a number I hold
Don’t remember if she was my friend
It was a long time ago

And if you choose
To take that path

I will play you like a shark
And I’ll clutch at your heart
I’ll come flying like a spark
To enflame you

Sleeping alone
For pleasure, the pineapple head
It spins and it spins
Like a number I hold
Don’t remember if she was my friend
It was a long time ago

And if you choose
To take that path
Would you come to make me pay?