Tiny Pineapple

ananas comosus (L.) minimus

Plantation Paradise

Plantation Paradise

Plantation Paradise

“Where Pineapples Grow”

GIFT SHOP and FRUIT STAND
Our Specialties: Frosty Pineapple Juice Homemade Preserves and Candies

U.S. Hwy. 27, 4 miles South of Lake Placid, Florida

Open Daily 8:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M.
Bring Your Camera and Stroll Through Our Tropical Garden

How I Do Pine For You

How I Do Pine For You
I'm No Indian But I Do Pine For You

pine

verb [intrans.]
  1. suffer a mental and physical decline, esp. because of a broken heart. She thinks I am pining away from love.
  2. (pine for) miss and long for the return of. I was pining for my boyfriend.

Origin: Old English pinian [(cause to) suffer,] of Germanic origin; related to Dutch pijnen, German peinen ‘experience pain,’ also to obsolete pine [punishment]; ultimately based on Latin poena ‘punishment.’

Here are two examples of turn-of-the-century postcard humor. Both feature a gentleman pining for a loved one and in both cases he’s got a pineapple for a head. Get it? Pining? Pineapple? The wordplay is genius. Genius, I tell you. And what’s funnier than a guy with a pineapple for a head?

“I’m Crazy Pineapple-Head! And I want some candy! I don’t have a normal head, I got a pineapple growing out of it! Now, give me some crazy candy! Ow-ooo, this pineapple makes me crazy!”

But would someone…anyone…care to explain that second example to me? “I’m no Indian but I do pine for you?”

Sure, the pineapple originated in the New World, but by the turn of the century the pineapple was most often associated with the South Pacific and the Far East, so surely it can’t be referring to Native Americans. Yet the Republic of India has never been a major producer of pineapples, so what other explanation is there?

It makes about as much sense as…

I’m no Lithuanian but I’ve bean missing you.

…or…

I’m no British North Bornean but I’m plum out of patience with your absence.

Hospital of Bamboo

by Juliet Shore (1965)
Hospital of Bamboo

Vivienne and Toby, nurse and doctor in a military hospital in British North Borneo, were both victims of broken romance and unwilling to become involved again.

But they seemed fated to find their names linked — even though Avril Wade did her best to come between them.

I know, I know. You’re probably sick and tired of romance novels set in British North Borneo. It seems like another one comes out every week. But this one appears to be different.

First, take a look at the guy sitting under the palm tree. He’s obviously proud of the fact that, in spite of the oppressive tropical heat, he doesn’t have sweaty armpits.

Second, notice his Bermuda shorts, white socks and dark dress shoes. You know what that means, don’t you?

That’s right. While this may look like just another British North Bornean romance between a nurse and a doctor, it’s really a story of passion and intrigue involving a young, idealistic nurse and a German tourist with anhidrosis who is masquerading as a physician.

Be Full Of Your Brain Cell All The Time And All!

Zoë was invited to a birthday party this evening, and since we had very little time between the end of school and the start of the party, we couldn’t go to a proper toy store to purchase a birthday gift. So, we stopped by Harmon’s fine toy department <ahem> on the way home and Zoë picked out this Future Combat Set for the birthday boy.

Future Combat Set

It’s sometimes difficult for parents to understand the technical terminology and jargon that is used on the packaging of these toys, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to explain some of labels you might see while shopping this holiday season.

New Article Appears on the Market

Many children have already submitted their list of desired articles to Santa, so they may be disappointed when they find that this new article has appeared on the market. But if they act quickly, they can probably submit an addendum to their list of desired articles to include this new article that has appeared on the market.

Assembled Freely

Those who practice Ethical Consumerism can take comfort in the fact that this product carries the Assembled Freely label. Whenever you see the Assembled Freely label, you can rest assured that the product you are buying was assembled by workers in a free range assembly plant, where workers have “continuous daytime access to open-air runs, except in the case of temporary restrictions imposed by veterinary authorities.”

New Generation: This Product is Most Welcome Among Kids!

Don’t make the mistake of purchasing old generation products as they may not be welcome among kids. Kids may laugh at the old generation products or call the old generation products names. They may never let the poor old generation products play in any product games.

Surprised Piece, Stimulate, Like to Play, Be Full of Your Brain Cell All The Time and All!

Your guess is as good as mine…