Tiny Pineapple

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    • South Pass

      In which I make the argument for button fly jeans.

    • Family Photos 2008: The Rest

      “We finally got the rest of the photos from what ZoĆ« still refers to as ‘THE COLDEST PHOTOSHUTE [sic] IN HISTORY.’ And, just like the first batch, they came out beautifully…”

    • 100% Customer Satisfaction

      “I watched as my little Customer Service Assassin made her way systematically through the park, looking for anyone else who had the gall to be displeased by the lack of facilities. And after the summary execution of about a half-dozen more urine-engorged malcontents, there wasn’t a single dissatisfied customer in the park…”

    • Organus Prime

      “While I was sitting in the Conference Center yesterday, I saw something. And now that I’ve seen it, I can’t stop seeing it…”

    • The Island of the Colorblind

      “‘So,’ I ask, ‘when you explain to your new ‘friends’ why we got divorced, what exactly do you tell them?’ And the words come, well-rehearsed, as if she’s reading from a brochure…”