Conundrum: Chicks dig guys who read the classics, but the Aeneid is a yawn-fest maximus.

Solution: The language may be dead, but that’s no reason to bore yourself into the same state. These gripping tales, retold in the ancient tongue, will hold your attention for minutes on end!

Bonus: Leave them lying on your coffee table and women will assume your future offspring are destined for the Ivy League.

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Cattus Petasatus

“Timor absit,” inquit hospes,
“Duce Catto, domus sospes
Erit vestra. Licet vobis
Frui ludis, qui sint nobis
Nec nocivi, nec ingrati.
Sumus ergo iam parati!
Piscis, ecce, nunc ASCENDIT!
Sursum surgit nec descendit!”

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Winnie Ille Pu

Et nisus est
et
nisus est
et
nisus est
et
nisus est
et nitens carmen sic coepit canere:

Cur ursus clamat?
Cur adeo mel amat?
Burr, burr, burr
Quid est causae cur?

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Arbor Alma

The Giving Tree is here rendered in exquisite Latin, a language whose own simple grandeur complements that of Silverstein’s original story and illustrations. Arbor Alma adds one more dimension to this multifaceted classic. This Latin-language edition is a welcome, all-occasion gift, a delightful way to revisit a treasured tale, and an enjoyable way to refresh your high school Latin.”

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Harrius Potter et Philosophi Lapis

Dominus et Domina Dursley, qui vivebant in aedibus Gestationis Lingustrorum numero quattuor signatis, non sine superbia dicebant se ratione ordinaria vivendi uti neque se paenitere illius rationis. in toto orbe terrarum vix credas quemquam esse minus deditum rebus novis et arcanis, quod ineptias tales omnino spernebant.

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Vere, Virginia, Sanctus Nicolaus Est!

Features:

• New Latin translation, in ornate script with decorated capitals.

• All new, full-color, charming illustrations for the Latin text.

• English text on dual-language (English-Latin) pages in easy-to-read type, to aid translation of Latin.

• Full Latin-English glossary with “Christmas Memories” journal pages.