8:30am
Woke up late and had breakfast in bed (bowl of Wheat Chex, Caffeine Free Diet Coke) while watching an episode of Dave The Barbarian (ostensibly Tivo’ed for the girls, but secretly I’m the one who watches it).
9:30am
Showered, shaved, and threw on some 529™ Low Rise Straight Leg Jeans by Levi’s and a t-shirt by Banana Republic. It’s a good look for me. Slim, unfussy, tastefully understated. Some might say it’s a little too understated…too safe…but I’m not going to take any chances on Oscar Night™.
I went on a Quest for the Perfect Jeans a few months ago and after searching high, low, hither, and yon, finally settled on the 529s. I don’t much care for the over-dyed and over-whiskered and over-antiqued look that’s been the fashion for the past few seasons, but that look is so prevalent that it’s hard to find anything else in stores.
But I think Trinny and Susannah would agree with me on the Levi’s. “They’re super.” Low, but not too low. Slim, but not tight. I nice wide leg without being a flare. Just a great, masculine, classic American jean.
10:00am
Tuned in to E!’s Live Countdown Academy Awards show. After watching for a few minutes I feel like I need another shower. Granted, it’s early in the day so they’ve got the third string in right now, but news that Star Jones Whatever-Her-Tediously-Married-Name-Is-Now will be coming up gives me permission to ignore E! for the rest of the day. I like Kathy Griffin, but not that much…
11:00am
Caught the tail end of Sunday Morning Shootout with Best Supporting Actress Nominees Laura Linney (Kinsey) and Sophie Okonedo (Hotel Rwanda). They’re lovely. Also saw Best Adapted Screenplay nominees Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby) and David Magee (Finding Neverland). Neverland was Magee’s first screenplay ever and Haggis once wrote for Walker, Texas Ranger. Knowing this makes me even more impressed with the quality of their (present) work.
12:30pm
Off to church. Wearing a black suit by Banana Republic, blue shirt by Wilke-Rodriguez, bright orange tie by Pronto Uomo, and shoes by Kenneth Cole. Again slim, unfussy, and tastefully understated.
4:20pm
I kept waiting for someone at church to approach me and ask, “Who are you wearing tonight?” It didn’t happen.
5:30pm
I have to admit that there are still some Oscar-nominated films I haven’t seen yet. For instance, I just can’t bring myself to go see The Aviator. I realize that I should have gone to worship at the altar of Scorsese on opening weekend, but 3-hour biopics are like medicine to me. Yes, I should probably go see it. Yes, it’ll probably be good for me. Yes, it’s probably not going to be as bad as I think it’s going to be. But I still won’t like the taste it’ll leave in my mouth.
Besides, I think Leo did his best work in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? and he’s grown less and less interesting as he’s gotten bigger and bigger. And, just as Renée Zellweger has distilled her acting over time so that it now involves just her lips, Leo seems to only be capable of conveying emotion with the space between his eyebrows.
Thank goodness Nicole Kidman only has to act with her nose in Bewitched because Botox has rendered everything above that immobile.
6:00pm
Come to think of it, I’m also avoiding The Aviator because Martin Scorsese’s work has gotten less and less interesting over time, too. Everyone keeps talking about how he deserves an Oscar because he’s never received one, but come on folks, he hasn’t done Oscar-worthy work for over two decades. You can’t give him an Oscar…postumously, or whatever the word is…for Raging Bull. He lost to Robert Redford in 1980. Get over it.
6:11pm
Jamie Foxx took his daughter to the Oscars. Good for him…
6:21pm
I have a newfound respect for Scarlett Johansson. She just mentioned that the whole reason she got into show business was so she could be in Meet Me in St. Louis. Any fan of Meet Me in St. Louis is OK by me.
6:29pm
Having Chris Rock host the Oscars is like casting Hilary Swank in a period piece.
6:47pm
Achievement in Art Direction: The Aviator
Damn! Now I have to go just to see the sets. And I didn’t know Donatella Versace was doing set decoration now.
6:50pm
Actor in a Supporting Role: Morgan Freeman
From Easy Reader to Oscar-winner. The entire original cast of Zoom! was on the phone to their agents in a matter of seconds.
7:00pm
Animated Feature Film: The Incredibles
As it should be…
7:02pm
Makeup: Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events
Let that be a lesson to you, Leo…fake eyebrows always triumph in the end.
7:14pm
Scarlett Johansson hosted the Scientific & Technical Awards Dinner? That’s like casting Hilary Swank in a period piece.
7:17pm
Costume Design: The Aviator
Great! Now I have to go for the sets and the pants.
7:23pm
Actress in a Supporting Role: Cate Blanchett
The sets and the pants and the Cate. I like the Cate, though. (I like the pants, too.)
7:32
Documentary Feature: Born into Brothels
My daughters will weep because The Story of the Weeping Camel didn’t win. They loved that movie. (I’m sure they’d love Born Into Brothels, too.) They struggled a bit with the subtitles at the beginning, though, so we took turns reading them out loud. (Don’t worry, we were watching it on DVD at home.)
7:35pm
Film Editing: The Aviator
The sets and the pants and the Cate and the dream sequences…
7:46pm
Adapted Screenplay: Sideways
I’m kind of surprised that Alexander Payne sounds like a game show announcer.
7:49pm
Special Effects: Spiderman 2
Mmmmmmmm…Zhang Ziyi.
7:58pm
Sidney Lumet directed The Wiz? That’s like casting Hilary Swank in a period piece.
8:05pm
Mmmmmmmm…Emmy Rossum.
8:12pm
Live Action Short: Wasp
I didn’t know Amy Irving was British.
8:13pm
Animated Short: Ryan
I didn’t know Michael Bolton was Canadian.
8:15pm
Cinematography: The Aviator
The sets and the pants and the Cate and the dream sequences and the lighting…
8:26pm
Sound Mixing: Ray
Sound Editing: The Incredibles
How did the sound guys wrangle two categories while the craft service people labor in obscurity?
8:38pm
Documentary Short: Mighty Times: The Children’s March
Mmmmmmmm…Natalie Portman. My brother has rubbed butts with her. And why is it that the winners of the Oscars for shorts always give the longest speeches?
8:42pm
Music (Score): Finding Neverland
As it should be…
8:58pm
Beyoncé and Josh Grobin? Pinch me!
9:02
Music (Song): The Motorcycle Diaries
Tip for songwriters for next year: If you want to win, don’t let Beyoncé get anywhere near your song.
9:07
Actress: Hilary Swank
Good for her. Well-deserved…
9:14pm
Foreign Language Film: The Sea Inside
I don’t think a single one of the nominated films has played in Utah yet. No, I take it back…The Sea Inside opened in Salt Lake last week. I’ve got work to do.
9:18pm
Original Screenplay: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I didn’t know that Charlie Kaufman was Seth Green’s doppelganger.
9:27pm
Actor: Jamie Foxx
Good for him. Well-deserved…
9:35pm
Directing: Clint Eastwood
This makes up for his being snubbed in 1995 for The Bridges of Madison County.
9:42pm
Best Picture: Million Dollar Baby
Well, that was no surprise. I can’t say I’m disappointed, but I can’t say I’m thrilled either. All of the nominated films were deserving in their own way (except, of course, The Aviator, which only has the sets and the pants and the Cate and the dream sequences and the lighting to recommend it), but if you ask me, the high-water mark for films was pretty low this year.
9:43pm
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
7 Comments
Thank you so muuch for the insightful report!
On Oscar day I thought I might bend the rules of time and space and squeeze in fix or six of the nominated films. I did see Ray at 11:30 a.m. I quite liked it. Jamie Foxx did an excellent job. Lauds and Honours to him. When I got out of the film at 2:00 p.m. (good grief! – that didn’t help cram more films in) I decided to go to a theatre where The Aviator and Sideways started at the same time. I’ve very much been wanting to see Sideways but I had to decide if it was the more appropriate thing to do to see the film with eleven Academy Award Nominations first. Then they said that The Aviator was three PLUS hours. I didn’t have time for that, and besides, I think that Leonardo DeCaprio gets squinchier and squinchier eyes as time goes on. I find it disconcerting. Pretty soon he’ll look like Jamie Foxx playing Ray Charles (without the sunglasses). And though I did like What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and thought Leo did good work, I actually think his best work was in the 1993′s This Boy’s Life.
If it wasn’t about the eyebrow space or giant eyebrows it was about EYE SHADOW!!! In other words, “don’t let Beyoncé anywhere near your song? – I say amen. I like Beyoncé’s in context (which, is this case, I guess, would be in her hippity-hop comfort zone). But, like Kiri Tekanawa singing South Pacific and Pavarotti singing “New York, New York,” sometimes it’s clear that there are singers who just can’t jump genres (and some who SHOULD NEVER, EVER ATTEMPT IT). She gave it the old college try, but she looked so uncomfortable – like she felt like she needed to mime each piece as well. And the eye shadow – that yellowy-green puce (?) color (so early in the show! Eeeek!) scared me. Yes, it did match her dress, but it was a FLORAL dress – I think one might have picked out another matching color. And then talk about bait and switch: They bring Emmy Rossum out (Grettir – at eighteen isn’t she young enough to be on the borderline of creepy for an “Mmmmmm”? Yes, she is absolutely lovely, but I don’t watch the Disney channel for that very reason – not to mention the fact that I have no children (and my kitten children like their Video Catnip DVD); I don’t want to accidentally get caught lusting after someone only to find out they are sixteen-years-old)? Anyhoo, they bring Emmy Rossum out, who has a pure, beautiful young voice and I thought we’d get to hear her sing (what was with the little weird breast loaf things on an otherwise beautiful dress?). But NO – they have Beyoncé sing the song that Minnie Driver sings over the credits!!! I must confess, I really like Josh Groban (though I don’t think he sang his best last night); I think he has a beautiful voice and he doesn’t try to overreach with his repertoire (like Charlotte Church singing Puccini when she was, what – two-years-old?).
And I wasn’t the only one – I hadn’t noticed before, either, that Seth Green and Charlie Kaufman were doppelgangers. There’s something satisfying about that. I think it would make Charlie Kaufman bemused.
As for Million Dollar Baby, I reallyn liked it. I went in not knowing much about it, walked out pretty impressed, and was really impressed when I found out that Hillary Swank did all her own boxing. Period films notwithstanding (though I’ve not seen The Necklace and can’t vouch for it either way) she’s grown into a wonderful actress since her, “But Mr. Miagi!!!!” days. And I’ve always had a soft spot for Morgan Freeman. Hillary’s dress, though – it made me uncomfortable. From the front it looked like it was on backwards, but when you saw the back (DANGEROUS to get that close to plumber’s crack in a designer gown – yes?)? The color wasn’t bad, however.
Completely random question: What was with all the odd dye jobs on the women (Kirsten Dunst, Drew Barrymore, Renee Zellwegger…)????
Very well done Shawn! I enjoyed your comments (as well as Kate’s) more than I enjoyed the night watching the Oscars–too many disappointments. I got 6 picks correct out of 24. I liked Million Dollar Baby, but I thought Ray deserved the grand prize. And like you and Kate.. I haven’t been able to bring myself to see The Aviator.
With my years of social science training I decided to apply my skills and do a carefully formed survey (me, two colleagues, and my wife). We all agree that we are much less likely to see a movie with Leo D. in it. None of us can figure out the appeal.
Having seen exactly 4 films up for awards (none of them in the best picture category I might add), I was immensely pleased to get 12 accurate guesses (predictions being way beyong my skills.) My biggest disappointment was listening to the nominated songs. Beyonce and Antonio Banderas. What were they thinking?
Jorge Drexler was of the same opinion: “Antonio Banderas?! What were they thinking?” Did you notice him seething in his seat before and after they introduced his song? You could almost see the steam rising from his ears; he couldn’t believe they hadn’t asked him to perform his own song.
And then to drive the point home, he sang the song as his acceptance/protest speech. When the camera panned to Antonio Banderas, Antonio tried to look all jolly and pumped–”You go, Jorge!”–but you could tell he was embarassed. (These stars are all such bad actors when they’re trying to cover up their embarassment or disappointment in their Kodak Theater seats.)
“Rossum” rhymes with “possum.” And besides, I’ve heard that she’s a real stink-pot. Hmmmph! *stomp, stomp*
N.B. The breast loafs are really called “chicken cutlets.”
I believe. I truly believe. Possibly chapter six is waiting for Hillary Swank to play the heroine in the period piece. LOL, Just kidding you along TP!
Grettir you were 23 when Emmy Rossum was born = easily could have fathered her.