Tiny Pineapple

ananas comosus (L.) minimus

7 Comments

grettir… you’re scaring me man. i’ve been saying this since day one. lemon diet coke tastes like lemon pledge! chet can back me up on this. i swear to god.. it’s lemon pledge. thank you. thank you for visually sustaining what i’ve believed and said all along. thank you. i can sleep now.

~jack

I avoid diet coke like the plague, but a friend of mine who had the misfortune to drink some lemon diet coke agrees with your formula wholeheartedly. bravo for spreading the truth!!

You’re acting like this is a bad thing! Pledge has a nice deep scent that has no place on furniture — who ever heard of lemon scented coffee tables? Would you buy one if they originally smelled of lemon? So why impose the aroma? Where better to utilize its sweet citrus scent than in the flavoring of a beverage (which consequnetly many people use for cleaning). So not only can you clean with it and achieve an air of lemon, but guzzle liters of it without fear of nasty calories. A better union I have not seen.

I just bought a cannister of Pledge that’s Diet Coke-scented! This world is so wacky!

Dr Goateye

humm i don’t mind diet lemon coke… i should try just snorting pledge.

It had never occurred to me that Diet Coke might have cleansing properties, but it stands to reason.

I have long advocated Diet Coke for its non-soiling properties. For instance, when a friend starts cursing after a Coke mishap in the front seat of his car, I will often chime in with a cheery, “You know, if that had been a Diet Coke, you wouldn’t even have to clean that up.”

Or if someone spills a Diet Coke on the carpet, I will often say (loud enough for the brown sugar water drinkers in the room to hear), “Thank goodness that was a Diet Coke. I can dab it up simply with a few paper towels. If, on the other hand, you had spilled a regular Coke, I’d be on my hands and knees for the rest of the night trying to get that damn molasses out of the carpet.”

For some reason, the number of Coke drinkers that attend my soirees has been declining rather steadily…but good riddance to them, the inconsiderate, ant-attracting, syrupy brown puddle makers.

jenny

Just think of how nice and shiny the inside of your bowels will be…”I can see my face in it!”…