Zoë was invited to a birthday party this evening, and since we had very little time between the end of school and the start of the party, we couldn’t go to a proper toy store to purchase a birthday gift. So, we stopped by Harmon’s fine toy department <ahem> on the way home and Zoë picked out this Future Combat Set for the birthday boy.

It’s sometimes difficult for parents to understand the technical terminology and jargon that is used on the packaging of these toys, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to explain some of labels you might see while shopping this holiday season.

Many children have already submitted their list of desired articles to Santa, so they may be disappointed when they find that this new article has appeared on the market. But if they act quickly, they can probably submit an addendum to their list of desired articles to include this new article that has appeared on the market.

Those who practice Ethical Consumerism can take comfort in the fact that this product carries the Assembled Freely label. Whenever you see the Assembled Freely label, you can rest assured that the product you are buying was assembled by workers in a free range assembly plant, where workers have “continuous daytime access to open-air runs, except in the case of temporary restrictions imposed by veterinary authorities.”

Don’t make the mistake of purchasing old generation products as they may not be welcome among kids. Kids may laugh at the old generation products or call the old generation products names. They may never let the poor old generation products play in any product games.

Your guess is as good as mine…