I was at a Chinese restaurant with my daughters the other day and we were looking up our Chinese Zodiac signs on our paper place mats. Emma, it turns out, is a Boar. Zoë is a Tiger. I was hoping for something especially butch, like the Tiger, or the Dragon, or even the Horse.

Instead, I’m a Rabbit. A great, big, fluffy, cuddly, floppy-eared bunny.

Robin: What’s he do, nibble your bum?

And if that wasn’t enough of a blow to my manhood, get a load of that last line.

Chinese Zodiac Rabbit Description