Hilary Duff’s new music video is in heavy rotation on the Disney Channel right now and Zoë is quite a fan. As she and the other girls were downstairs singing along (very loudly), I found myself upstairs in the kitchen with my sister Jenny trying to defend the rather indefensible position that Ms. Duff’s Metamorphosis was one of the finest pop albums of 2003. To take some of the heat off me, I brought up the subject of Hilary’s new (and rather unfortunate) porcelain veneers.

Hilary Duff's Venereal Denistry

I was trying to find just the right word to describe what was wrong with them. But as I fished around, all I could come up with was:

“They’re just so…so…veneereal.”

As in:

Veneereal Dentistry (VD)
(ve·’ne·re·al ‘den·tist·ry) When an irresponsible practitioner of the dental arts applies large, obvious porcelain veneers over the perfectly good teeth of a poor, unsuspecting starlet. Symptoms include “horse teeth,” pronounced overbite, and difficulty in closing their mouth completely due to the increased surface area.