Tiny Pineapple

ananas comosus (L.) minimus

Nurse and the Crystal Ball, The

by Florence Stewart (1969)
Nurse and the Crystal Ball, The

It would take more than a fortune-teller to solve Nurse Sue Whittier’s dilemma: Should she tell her dying former sweetheart the truth, or should she leave him in peace and let his scheming wife and brother rob him…?

Clouded Future…

When Sue Whittier unpacked her suitcase, 3000 miles away from the nurses’ dormitory in Maryland, she found a fortune-teller’s crystal ball under her nylons. It was a friend’s idea of a joke, but Sue–who didn’t believe in such things–wished it could tell her what she was letting herself in for. She had driven to California to be with Dave Harding, the man she had walked out on seven years ago just before their wedding–a dying man now who had written, begging her to come. And she had…even though seeing Dave would mean seeing his half-brother, Marv, too–the secret reason Sue had broken that engagement. Still, she was prepared for that. What she wasn’t prepared for was finding another old love of Dave’s at his bedside: Gloria, the blonde he had married on the rebound, the wife who had deserted him two months later and has now returned–with a son she claimed was his. But was it true…? Sue didn’t need a crystal ball to tell her that here was a woman who couldn’t be trusted…

When I read “she found a fortune-teller’s crystal ball under her nylons,” my first thought was, “Well, there’s a an anatomical euphemism I’ve never heard before.”

And if I was Dave Harding, and:

  1. My bride-to-be ditched me at the altar for my half-brother named Marv.
  2. My scheming, blonde ex-wife named Gloria showed up with a snot-nosed kid and a paternity suit.
  3. I had cancer.

I’d refuse treatment and pray for a speedy end.

8 Comments

Well, where do YOU keep your fortune-teller’s crystal ball?

all I can comment is

holy crap!

jenny

Hey…what happened to my Pineapple Upside Down Cake recipe? I finally bought the pineapple, and I turn around and it’s gone.

Wait. It was there, right?

I’m mucking about with the Gallery right now and the Gallery entries disappeared from the home page for a while. They should be back now…

Oh, YOU, mucking about… WAIT you are a MAGICIAN! You made something disappear and REAPPEAR. You are Christian Bale and Edward Norton all ROLLED INTO ONE. Boy – that does make for an odd mustache, however.

Dearest Jenny,

Please leave out the EYEBALLS OF SATAN. I’ve always thought that Pineapple Upside Down Cake was better sans SATAN’S EYEBALLS. **shudder**

jenny

The only thing more toxic than maraschino cherries is warm mararschino cherries.

And according to the dictionary, maraschino cherries are actually made from mascara. That explains alot.

jenny

Nurse Sue looks like a peevish Trinny Woodall.

jenny

…and YES, I do realize that I post an inordinant amount of blather here, and it’s not even my blog.

But when Grettir becomes preoccupied and the posts run dry, somebody’s gotta keep the pineapple rolling…