Tiny Pineapple

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Zoë-isms

As you can probably tell from my post a few weeks ago, my youngest daughter, Zoë, has a way with words. “I can swing my apples” is only the latest in a long line of malapropisms and mispronunciations. Here are a few of my favorites:

Lellow = Yellow

For the longest time, she couldn’t pronounce the “Y” in “yellow.” We even tried breaking it into sections:

Me: Say “yell.”

Zoë: Yell!

Me: Say “low.”

Zoë: Low!

Me: Say “yellow.”

Zoë: Lellow!

Thrispee = Frisbee

This one has gotten closer over time. The flying disc is now referred to as a “Frispee.”

Slogs = Clogs

Last Thursday, her Pre-K class was going to the zoo. When I woke her up, she sat up groggily in bed and said, “Dad, I’m supposed to wear tennis shoes today because we’re going to the zoo. I’m not supposed to wear sandals or slogs.”

Sloppy Slops = Flip Flops

Sometimes when I’m trudging across a beach and one of my flip flops comes off I’ll think, “You know…she’s right. These blasted things are sloppy slops. Maybe I should have worn slogs.”

Floppy Joe = Sloppy Joe

Whenever she eats one, the filling tends to flop out all over the place so it stands to reason.

Curse = Crush

The other night she was talking about the various ongoing romances in her Pre-K class. “I’ve got a curse on Max,” she declared. Then she turned to her sister, Emma, and asked “Who do you have a curse on?”

Ron’t = Won’t

Pronounced: roant

Me: Don’t get too close the edge, Zoë.

Zoë: Don’t worry, I ron’t.

Pupcakes = Cupcakes

My personal favorite.

Sign of the Apocalypse #238: Giving Thanks

Sign of the Apocalypse #238

We know him as the Painter of Light™, the world-renowned artist who has captured the spirit of America on canvas. Now, for the first time ever, Thomas Kinkade© himself is featured as a true-to-life sculptural figure in “Giving Thanks.”

The remarkable likeness of the beloved painter is handcrafted and hand-painted to capture the smallest detail. As he gazes off into the distance, chin in hand, you can imagine Thomas Kinkade envisioning his next masterpiece…

Government Nurse

by Felicia Bryce (1976)
Government Nurse

The massive, gold-domed capitol building of her East Coast home state represented the culmination of a dream to Jennifer Sawyer. The blue-eyed blonde, orphaned at an early age, had worked hard to earn both a bachelor’s degree and an R.N., and her civil service position at the first-aid station serving statehouse employees and visitors gave her financial security as well as pleasant working conditions.

When lanky redhead Any Dunbar, a state-employed psychiatrist, came into the station for minor first aid, Jennifer knew she had met her dream man. Or had she? Only months ago she had looked forward to a happy future with Dr. Dick Austin. His hasty marriage to the daughter of a prominent physician had shattered her plans and precipitated her decision to transfer from bustling City Hospital to government service.

Even though Jennifer decided to trust her intuition, the chance for romance with Andy was thwarted on two counts. Cathy Allen, her good-natured supervisor, seemed to have a prior claim on Andy, and good-looking George Fullmer, a deputy attorney general and friend of Andy’s, was determined to date Jennifer. She had no desire to intrude on what might be Cathy’s territory, nor did she wish to hurt the lawyer’s feelings. Although she liked George, he did not ignite in her the same excitement Andy sparked.

As time when on, Jennifer’s confusion increased. Only when a mishap at the lavish State Ball triggered an extraordinary series of events, did Jennifer find her true love.

Florida Nurse

by Peggy Dern (1961)
Florida Nurse

She was dedicated to helping the helpless…but could she heal the break in her own heart?

The daughter of a doctor, Leona Gregory had known since earliest childhood that she wanted to be a nurse. She had always thought that that would mean working with her father. But now that Dr. Gregory had married a young wife, Leona felt out of place in the household.

The young R.N. gratefully accepted a position in a hospital in Cypress City on the Gulf Coast, even though she was afraid it would cut her off from everything she had known. Meeting the cold, beautiful supervisor of nurses, Paula Ingram, and the stern disciplinarian, Dr. Foster, who headed the hospital, seemed to confirm her fears. But Leona also found an opportunity for service she could not have had elsewhere. Then too, there was the handsome, charming senior intern, Cole Jordan…and, working with him, Leona began to feel that her heart night find wings again.